Checking in with Yourself

"Maybe I am not doing well?"

Over the past few weeks I have been struggling with knowing how I am doing. I think in my mind I had myself convinced that I was okay and this is how I should feel. It wasn't until I started having extreme panic attacks and suicidal ideations. Luckily, I had no plan and have kept myself out of the hospital. I have been working with my doctor and therapist with regulating my medications. When those thoughts popped up that is when I got scared. I then reflected and realized that I have just been accepting my life the way that it is. I have been telling myself that it is okay to be stressed, unhappy, and extremely depressed. It is something that society tells us as well. Mental Illness for some reason is not taken as seriously as it should. In all reality, my friends and family don't even know how scared I am constantly.

For me, the stress of my job is killing me. I also am in school full time and struggling to get through each quarter. I want a career in mental health and I plan to use my platforms for it. I have started a job with Younique as a presenter. I know, it can be annoying to some people. I can genuinely say that it has helped me through these last two weeks. I have been out of work trying to let my medicine work. I have achieved the top sales on my team and promoted. I have so many good friends there as well. What kills me the most is that it is not my full time job. But, I am not writing this post to talk all about me.

I think there are many important reasons to check in with yourself. I have challenged myself to do a daily mood tracker and to journal about my day daily. I don't wanna go to this scary place I am in again. I don't think anyone does. You HAVE to check in with your moods and feelings as much as you can. We as a society have accepted that we have to be miserable and unhappy. We have to let our jobs give us anxiety and stress. We have to accept the way people treat us. We do not have to accept anything. We need to start doing what is best for us. We need to get out of these dark places. Know what will make you happy. It will all work out. Now I am not saying quit your job and move across the county with 5 dollars. But if that job is stressful, get out of there. Find something else, if you can afford it just quit and find something later.

So my main point here was: Do what makes you happy, make sure you are okay, get help if you are not ok, and get out of horrible situations.